We all like to think that we have good manners and know our social behaviors and etiquette rules.
But is it possible that we are not conducting ourselves properly and in turn pushing people away from us with our social behaviors?
If you’ve ever experienced an eye roll in your direction or a blank stare, then read on. It could be that your social behaviors are irritating those around you.
- Not making eye contact
Studies show that you should hold a person’s gaze for around two-thirds of the time when you are talking to them. Anything less and you appear uninterested, anything more and you can come across as intimidating.
- Constantly looking at your smartphone
If someone has made the effect to be with you physically then you should focus all your attention on them, not your contacts in your smartphone. By constantly checking your smartphone you are essentially saying to someone that they are not important.
- Not listening
Someone that seems to focus on anything apart from you and your conversation is not only irritating but extremely rude as being ignored is not a pleasant experience. Pay attention to the person next to you and you might learn something.
- Constantly interrupting
Some people interrupt others because they get excited about a topic and want to jump in with their two pennies worth. This is just about acceptable but those who constantly interrupt others are saying that they are the most important voice in the room and your input is not required.
- Bragging about achievements
Sure it’s nice to blow your own trumpet occasionally, but a person that brags all the time not only looks arrogant but can seem immature and under-prepared. Self-deprecation and modesty go much further and show people that you can laugh at yourself and you are reserved when it comes to your success.
- Constant moaning
No one likes a miserable person, especially one that moans all the time. We all have problems, but a constant moaner is draining as they suck out the energy of positive people. If you are a constant moaner and you find people are starting to switch off when you speak, consider trying to find the positives in a situation instead of the negative all the time.
7. Crossing your arms
This is a sign of defensive behavior that instantly puts people off as you are suggesting you are not open to their ideas. Try sitting or standing with your arms hanging loosely at your sides and you might find that people are more approachable with you.
- Public displays of affection
You might adore your partner and want everyone to see just how much, but the majority of people find that public displays of affection are cringy, in poor taste and in some cases showing off. Keep your physical feelings and gestures in check and gain respect about your relationship again.
- Constant fishing for compliments
Of course, it is nice to be complimented. But someone that constantly asks you how they look, what their clothes are like, is their work good can be extremely irritating. Let people naturally compliment you as you can come across as shallow and needy by fishing all the time.
- Not accepting a compliment
If you are not used to compliments and you find it hard to accept one, remember that when people offer a compliment, to reject it appears rude and upsetting. Don’t get into the habit of giving others the reason for your compliment. Instead, accept gracefully with a simple ‘thank you, I appreciate that’ and don’t make a song and dance about it.
- Multi-tasking while you talk
Even if you are the busiest person on the planet, if someone has taken time out to come and talk to you, then don’t do the washing up, don’t go onto your computer, don’t look at your smartphone and don’t prepare dinner. If you really are too busy for a decent conversation at that particular moment, then ask for another date and make sure you are free.
- People pleasing
No one can be nice all the time and if you are the sort of person that says yes to everyone, you’ll look weak and easily taken advantage of. You’ll gain far more respect by saying no occasionally.
First published in Life Advancer